After assaulting your insides all day a baby will often refuse to move the second you want someone else to feel the movements.

Below is a list of things which you can do to try and get your pesky tot to start kicking:

• Have a fizzy sugary drink or a small snack to give baby an energy boost
• Have a cold drink
• Lie on your back or side for a while
• Stroke or massage your stomach
• Play music to your stomach
• Gently press your stomach. When baby presses back do it again. A fun gme for you and baby
• Get down on all fours. This doesn’t sound very attractive but it can encourage baby to move into a new position and so make kicks easier to feel.

So when can you really first feel baby moving and what does it feel like?

Although your baby will start to kick at about 7 weeks you will not feel it until you are around 16 weeks pregnant and some mothers to be may be 21 or 22 weeks pregnant before anything is felt. First time mothers will usually feel the first kicks at a later period of gestation than a second or third time mother. A thinner woman may feel the movements sooner than a larger woman.

The first movements are small and rapid and are known as “quickening”. Descriptions of these movements vary from woman to woman but the most common description is that it feels like butterflies, bubbles popping or your stomach rumbling.

You will soon kicks regularly throughout the day but should not worry in early or mid pregnancy if you do have brief periods (even up to  day) with no movements. This may just be because of the position that your baby is lying in. As pregnancy progresses, however, you should make a mental note if your baby’s kicks significantly reduce or stop and talk to your medical practionioner as this can sometimes be a sign of distress.

As pregnancy progresses the kicks will be stronger and will even get to the point where you can feel them with your hand and almost convince yourself that there is an audible thud! As there is less and less room in your womb movements will become more visible and often more uncomfortable. Not many mums-to-be welcome a little foot under the ribs or a swift kick to the bladder!

When you reach your third trimester you should keep a mental kick count and should expect to feel around 10 significant movements per hour (though this includes turns, hiccups and other movements not just kicks).

If you aren’t planning to find out the sex but can’t help wondering you will find that every man and his dog wants to offer a guess.

So try out these fun old wives tales and place your bets!

• Get people to assess your bump. If you carry high the old wives tale is that you are having a girl. If your bump hand low then it is said that you are having a boy.
• If your bump is neat and up front it is a boy. If it is all around it is a girl
• Next time you visit the midwife ask her what your baby’s heart rate is. The old wives tale is that a baby with a heart beat over 140 is a girl and one below 140 is a boy
• Hold a pendant or a ring dangling from a piece of string over your stomach. If it swings to and fro it signifies a girl. If it goes round in circles then it signifies a boy
• If your right breat looks bigger than your left it is a boy. If it is the other way around it is a girl
• If your skin is dry or spotty you are having a boy. If it is smooth and glowing it is a girl.
• If your hair is thick and lusterous you are having a boy. If it is dull and thin it is a girl
• If you crave salty food or protein then you are having a boy. If you crave sweet things you are having a girl.
• If you have morning sickness you are having a girl. If you don’t you are having a boy

So do you know any old wives tales? Share them with us and leave a comment

Important note: Most of these tests told me that I was having a girl. Guess what. I had two boys! Good job I didn’t decorate the nursery pink!!!

This can bring with it a number of challenges, both practical and emotional, and can bring up a range of conflicting emotions.

It is not unusual for a woman to waste the last few weeks of maternity leave worrying about returning to work and the night before feeling like they are starting a new school.

Most of the emotions on returning to work will fall into two catagories: guilt and fear!

Guilt

This may be guilt about leaving your child with a carer or guilt about being happy about returning to work. You may also feel guilt if you are returning to work on lower hours than you worked previously (either guilt towards your co-workers or guilt about bringing a reduced income into the household)

Dealing with guilt is difficult. Especially when the guilt is irrational. In most cases like this you may just need to ride it out but here are some things to keep in mind to help you with the journey.

Leaving your child with someone other than yourself does not mean you are a bad mother. It means you are a good mother and you are doing something for your child which is selfless.

Your baby needs to be able to feel secure and confident on their own, not just when they are with you. They need to know that whatever happens and whenever you are apart you will always come back. Leaving them with a carer you trust and returning to them at the end of the day helps them to learn this. It is also their first step to independance, to learning about new environments and to beginning to interact and communicate with people other than you. This is your baby’s first step to becoming an individual so stop feeling guilty and start patting yourself on the back. Well done!

Do not feel guilty about working fewer hours or different hours at work. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty and in particular don’t allow yourself to create the guilt. Everyone in the world has different needs and that is also true of your workplace. Everyone will have a different work: home life balance and at the moment your balance is emphasised towards your home life. In the future this balance will probably tip back and it will be another colleague who is at work less so make the most of it whilst it lasts.

Do not feel guilty if you are bringing a reduced income into the household. The time you give to your baby is far more valuable than the extra money you would be bringing into the household and is probably partly offset by the childcare fees you would be paying if working more hours. If you want to be proactive in easing your guilt then use this opportunity to sort out your finances and begin to economise.

Fear

There are several things which women returning to work are afraid of. That they will not be as good at their job after such a long absence, that they will not be able to cope with working and motherhood, that they do not feel as attractive as they once did, that their baby will be miserable without them, that the person looking after their baby will not do it as well as they would or that something bad may happen to their baby because mum isn’t there to protect them. These fears can all be tackled.

First of all you will be just as good at your job when you return to work and will get back into the flow of things more quickly than you are expecting to. The most important thing to realise and accept, however, is that it will take a little time to get back into things so do not feel frustrated when it doesn’t happen in the first or second week. The second thing to acknowledge is that you may not feel the urge to work as much as you once did. If you have previously been a career woman then you may slip back into that role quite easily. You may, however, decide that you now have new priorities in which case don’t feel bad about not having the same drive or aspirations which you did previously.

You will possibly be afraid that your child will be unhappy without you or that you will miss them so much that you cannot concentrate. This probably will be the case for the first few days but that is usually all it will take for you both to get into and start to enjoy your new routine. Your time apart will give you a well needed break so that your child learns how to be happy when you are not there and you get a well needed break from being on 24 hour call (the great thing about returning to work is that you actually get a lunch break without a baby to look after!). Also dispel the fear that your baby will start to love their carer more than they love you. This will not happen. Wherever a baby spends his or her day they never replace mummy.

Finally, having looked after baby for 9 months in the womb and then the whole of maternity leave it is natural to panic about leaving them with someone else for the majority of their day. You will imagine every possible illness and accident that could happen and convince yourself that it is going to happen. You can take active steps towards dealing with this fear by ensuring that you fully research and are happy with the caring arrangements which you organise for your child.

If using a carer or service outside of your family check out reports on the provider and talk to other parents who use them. Fully explore all of your options before choosing your provider. You can also arrange short taster sessions before you return to work to make the transition easier for yourself and baby. Also talk to the provider about your fears and they will be able to reassure you.

If you need to phone the carer a couple of times a day in the first few days then do it. They will be used to this and it will help you to begin to let go and stop worrying throughout the day.

There are also several practical adjustments to make when strating back at work which will help you to balance and cope with a working motherhood. We will discuss these in a further article.

The Herpes Simplex Virus can cause problems for newborns and can pose a serious risk to their health.

Babies can contract the Herpes Simplex Virus during birth (from the birth canal), if he or she is kissed by someone who suffers from cold sores or if someone touches a cold sore and then the baby.

The virus can affect a baby as simply as giving them cold sore like blisters but it can also cause damage to their mental development, their nervous system or can result in death.

Thankfully the chances of your baby contracting the virus are quite low with the greatest risk factor being if a mother to be contracts genital herpes in the final trimester of pregnancy and does not have a chance to produce sufficient antibodies before the birth.

If you have or belive you have genital herpes at the time of delivery you can reduce the risks further by;

• Talking to your doctor or midwife if you have had genital herpes during your pregnancy
• Talking to your doctor or midwife if you believe you are experiencing any of the symptoms of genital herpes in your third trimester (itching, tingling, sores or tenderness in your genital area)
• Request a non assisted birth (i.e. no forceps or ventouse) to reduce the risk of baby’s skin being broken during childbirth and letting the virus into their system
• Requesting that your waters are not artificially ruptured as this can increase the risk of the virus reaching your baby before birth
• Watching your baby carefully for any problems during the first four weeks including any of the usual signs of the virus, lethargy, fever, irritability or problems with feeding.

If you do not have genital herpes then steps which you can take to protect yourself and your baby include;

• Not having unprotected sex with anyone who has or may have genital herpes
• Not having oral sex with anyone with cold sores
• Not letting anyone with cold sores kiss your baby within their first few weeks and asking them to wash their hands before touching baby if they do have cold sores.

Finally be concious but try not to worry too much. Babies are very rarely infected by the Herpes Simplex Virus.

A 4D scan will not only have depth to the image but will also show the image (i.e. your baby) moving. You can then have photographs, CD-ROMs and DVDs of your baby.

You will see your baby doing exactly what it is really doing. He or she may be seen to suck their thumb, rub their eyes or yawn.

4D scans are not generally offered for free but there are many private scanning clinics which specialise in these scans. Before choosing a clinic check that they have qualified sonographers to do the scans and, if possible, midwives on staff. Most clinics will charge around £200 for a scan (lasting around half an hour), a DVD/ CR-ROM of both moving and still images and printed photographs. There will also be cheaper and more expensive packages available.

The best results of a scan will be gained between 24 and 34 weeks of gestation when baby is still quite small and surrounded by a lot of fluid making the images quite clear and leaving baby with room to move. For twin and multiple pregnancies the best time for a scan is at 27 weeks of gestation as after this point the babies will have greatly reduced space to move.

Scans are done in the same manner as a normal ultrasound however the sonographer will take a bit longer to scan baby as it takes longer to build up the image than with a 2D scan.

For images of a 4D scan of a baby at 24 weeks and the same baby at 1 week old visit our 4D scan page

Tough! Sorry but there are a couple of weeks of torture yet to come. Maybe just one week if you are lucky!

So here is what to expect in your first week of having a newborn and a post partum partner:

Crying: Yep there will be tears. Tears of happiness, tears of panic, tears of exhaustion, tears of pain and tears just because there is a “Y” in the day of the week. Once baby comes out the hormones unfortunately stay in and the emotions of the first week post partum are impossible to control.

Advice? Just go with it. There is nothing you can do to stop the rain storm of tears so just hug her when she is sad and smile with her when she is happy.

Fear: Yes there will be fear. For both of you probably but it will be magnified in your hormone ridden partner. She will be afraid that she is not healing properly, that baby is sleeping too much/ little, that haby is eating too much/ to little, that baby does not like her, that she will never be able to be a good mother, that she does not know what to do, that baby might  ill, that anyone she knows might die, fear of the fleeting nature of life, fear of the long nature of nights without sleep, fear that she will never get her figure back. You name it and it has probably crossed her mind at one point.

Advice? Reassurance, practical but comforting responses and sharing your fears too. This last one can be an unexpected winner as it may get your partner (with her new maternal instincts) to concentrate her energies on reassuring you and so forget her own fears. If the fears are of a practical nature then get her to talk to her midwife or doctor for further reassurance.

Exhaustion: Your partner will be exhausted. Beyond exhausted. That is not to say that you will be full of energy. You will be in demand for errands, entertaining guests and housework. In addition you will find it hard to sleep in the same room as baby. If they move you can’t settle, if they don’t move you worry, if they cry (which they do a lot) you will want them to be quiet and when they are fast asleep you will be afraid that they are overheating or may get smothered. Feel a bit of empathy therefore that your partner is going through the same experience but is also still exhausted from the trials of pregnancy, child birth and breastfeeding.

Advice? Push through the exhaustion barrier and do everything you can to help your partner to get some rest. That way you will feel less guilty about being less than helpful for night feeds when you are back at work and your partner is still on maternity leave!

 Inappropriate clothing: This one gets the best of us all. Even if your partner has a track record of impecable style and still looks like she is three months pregnant (expect that for the first few weeks post partum) she will suddenly feel like she is a size 8 and will be squeezing into her jeans and skinny tops in no time. Not always flatteringly.

Advice? Keep your mouth shut, grin and bear it! She may not look at her best but she will feel like she does after the past 4 months of dressing in tents and being as big as a whale. This newfound embarassing dress sense will only last a few days before she is brought to her senses and becomes style concious once more. Let her enjoy the happiness of being able to bend in the middle and being able to see her toes when standing up. It has been a long time! 

Wanting to be out and about: Not only wil your partner want to show off her newly found waist and her beautiful baby and try out that new pram but after even one day in bed or in hospital she will start to get cabin fever. It may just be a pop to the supermarket that she is yearning or it may be a meal with a long awaited glass of wine.

Advice? If going out with baby then pack extra everything. The most important things being nappies, baby wipes and cloths to wipe up baby sick. It may seem like an age to prepare to leave the house but get used to it! This is life for the next year. Be prepared that you wil get lots of interested strangers cooing over your newborn and the baby is guaranteed to scream like they are being murdered the second you sit down for a coffee. If you are going out without baby then do not be surprised if the trip or date is shorter than you expected as the first few times away from baby can be particularly heart wrenching for a mother.

Shopping: Thought you had everything you could possibly need? Think again. You run out of nappies/ diapers and baby wipes a lot faster than you would expect and even though you have bought the entire range from your local baby store there will be some essential item that you have missed. your partner will also soon be desperate for new clothes when she no longer wants to wear her maternity wardrobe but comes to the realisation that her pre-pregnancy body has not yet made a reappearance.

Advice: Watch your credit card!

Pain: Your wife will suffer a range of pain post partum. She may have had an episiotomy, a c-section or a natural birth but all three have their own unique after pains to deal with. Added to that the painful contractions as her uterus shrinks back to it’s original size, the pain of the first few weeks of breastfeeding and possible headaches due to a lack of sleep and possible side effects of the pain relief used in labour and your partner may not be a happy bunny.

Advice? Be ready with the paracetamol, tea and sympathy. All of this pain will pass so just play an attentive nursemaid to make her life easier and stack up the brownie points for good behaviour.

Mess: There will be mess. Diapers, sick covered baby grows, poo covered vests, un washed dishes and un made beds. Having a newborn is tough and al of a sudden time slips away lleaving not enough time left for housework.

Advice: Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you can bear it then leave the mess for a week and enjoy your new baby and any small chance you get to rest. If you can’t bear it then treat your partner to a day out or a day in bed and get tidying. she will appreciate it!

No-one knows for sure but possible explanations are the change in hormone levels, the presence of a foreign body in your system (baby), increased sensitivity to smell and taste and more sensitive stomachs.

Whatever the cause one thing is undeniable. Morning sickness is miserable. Whether the full blown regular vomitting kind or the vomit free nausea which feels similar to travel sickness. There are a lot of commonly used methods which do not cure morning sickness but can make it more tolerable. Most women will find one particular method which works and the others will simply make them feel worse.

Here are some methods which you can try:

• Some people get some relief from salty snacks
• Ginger sweets, biscuits, tea or crystalized ginger
• Some women like mints or mint tea (peppermint in particular)
• Some women find relief in acidic drinks such as fresh orange (whereas some will throw it straight back up!)
• Bland food
• Small and frequent meals
• Take it slowly in the mornings
• Have a drink and small snack before getting up un the morning
• Sipping fluids
• Regular rests
• Boiled sweets or lollipops (such as the pregnancy “Preggypops” with morning sickness friendly flavours)
• Accupressure bands (usually used on the wrists for travel sickness)
• Reflexology

Good Luck!

With their annoying shadow free eyes and alert thinking! So what can you do to join that elite club of well rested smug parents?

Well you can’t force your baby, toddler or child to sleep but here are some things to try:

• Make sure that baby is not too hot or too cold. Wrap them in enough layers to keep them warm but not hot
• Consider using a baby sleeping bag. This stops them from overheating or wriggling under the covers and means that you can dress them in just a vest for warm nights or a babygrow for cold nights
• Use blackout blinds so that lights from outside or the early sunrise during spring and summer does not wake baby
• Air out the room during the day to make sure that it is cool and fresh with a fresh supply of oxygen
• Establish a bedtime routine which you repeat every night at the same time. This may be a half hour of quiet play, lullaby time, story time or a bath. Whatever it is this will get baby into the right mindset for bed as they will know what is coming. Much better than going from light and activity to a black bedroom in 10 seconds flat
• For older babies consider a bedtime snack such as a warm baby cereal, a bedtime drink or a banana to help them to sleep longer before waking for a feed
• If you are past the stage of baby needing a night feed and they are just waking out of habit let them cry for a few minutes before going into them. Sometimes babies are not fully awake when they cry in the night and only wake up fully because you go into the room. If left they will sometimes go back to sleep on their own. for most mothers it will be distressing to do this but give it a try
• If baby is still crying after 5 minutes then go in to see to them but try not to lift them up. It will take longer but try to sing, talk or stroke them back to sleep so that they do not expect to be lifted out of their crib every time they cry
• Try putting your baby down whilst still awake rather than letting them fall asleep in your arms. This will teach them the skill of getting themself to sleep
• See if they take to a dummy/ pacifier, a security blanket or a toy
• If they seem to be scared in the dark then try a very dim night light or a crib toy which shines pictures or patterns on the ceiling
• Some babies like to listen to music to help them to go to sleep. Try playing them classical music or lullabies on a very low volume and play the same pieces of music every night to make it a part of their sleep routine.
• Be tough! This is usually more stressful and upsetting for mom than it is for baby. Mothers are usually their own worst enemy
• If dealing with an older child take the same approach as with a baby
• If dealing with a potty trained child who gets fidgetty in the middle of the night this may be because they need a wee so quietly take them to the toilet then put them back in bed again and they will usually go back to sleep

If you have been trying a method or methods for several weeks then take a break and go back to a routine that works for you. Continuing down an unsuccessful road can be stressful for everyone and can begin to make bedtime a battleground which the whole family dread. Take a break for a while and build up the energy to try again in a few weeks.

Then comes the third trimester and, even worse for your sleep patterns, your baby! The third trimester is a never ending interrupted nap with each night time bringing an inability to get comfortable, baby staying up all night kicking and regular bathroom trips. Your newborn will then keep you up for the next few months for 2, 3 or 4 hourly feeds.

Then comes the return to sleep right? Not necessarily. A lot of babies won’t settle into sleeping through the night until they are two or three regardless of what method you use. Sleep deprivation temporarily affects your reaction times, emotions, ability to think clearly and your superficial health (e.g. you may get cold sores, coughs and colds, mouth ulcers,etc).

A further article will discuss ways to help your child sleep through the night but for now let us discuss how to cope with sleep deprivation:

• Sleep when you can. Ignore the housework, stretch your dealines and go an extra day with greasy hair just to get the odd cat nap. It can make a world of difference
• Drink caffeine or energy drinks (but not too much)
• Try alternatives to caffeine such as fruit juices
• Take vitamin supplements to help keep your health up
• If you can’t nap then at least rest. Have a bath, read a book or watch television
• Discuss your sleeplessness with your partner and negotiate at least one night off a week
• If you feel unreasonable asking for this because you are on maternity leave and your partner works then get your partner to do afternoon shifts with baby at the weekend so that you can have some sleep
• If you aren’t sleeping because you can’t get comfortable in bed during your last trimester then use a pregnancy pillow to be more comfortable, wear satin pyjamas so that you can turn over more easily and limit your liquid intake after 8pm to reduce the number of night time bathroom trips
• Go for walks to re-energise yourself. Take baby and you may be able to get them asleep and get a nap yourself
• Air your bedroom during the day to make it a more comfortable place to sleep
• Read our article on getting your child to sleep through the night