So baby is out and you were finally hoping that the hormonal, irritable, uncomfortable, disruptive monster you have been living with for the last 8 weeks was going to cough up your once sweet and patient partner and dissappear until the next pregnancy came along.

Tough! Sorry but there are a couple of weeks of torture yet to come. Maybe just one week if you are lucky!

So here is what to expect in your first week of having a newborn and a post partum partner:

Crying: Yep there will be tears. Tears of happiness, tears of panic, tears of exhaustion, tears of pain and tears just because there is a “Y” in the day of the week. Once baby comes out the hormones unfortunately stay in and the emotions of the first week post partum are impossible to control.

Advice? Just go with it. There is nothing you can do to stop the rain storm of tears so just hug her when she is sad and smile with her when she is happy.

Fear: Yes there will be fear. For both of you probably but it will be magnified in your hormone ridden partner. She will be afraid that she is not healing properly, that baby is sleeping too much/ little, that haby is eating too much/ to little, that baby does not like her, that she will never be able to be a good mother, that she does not know what to do, that baby might  ill, that anyone she knows might die, fear of the fleeting nature of life, fear of the long nature of nights without sleep, fear that she will never get her figure back. You name it and it has probably crossed her mind at one point.

Advice? Reassurance, practical but comforting responses and sharing your fears too. This last one can be an unexpected winner as it may get your partner (with her new maternal instincts) to concentrate her energies on reassuring you and so forget her own fears. If the fears are of a practical nature then get her to talk to her midwife or doctor for further reassurance.

Exhaustion: Your partner will be exhausted. Beyond exhausted. That is not to say that you will be full of energy. You will be in demand for errands, entertaining guests and housework. In addition you will find it hard to sleep in the same room as baby. If they move you can’t settle, if they don’t move you worry, if they cry (which they do a lot) you will want them to be quiet and when they are fast asleep you will be afraid that they are overheating or may get smothered. Feel a bit of empathy therefore that your partner is going through the same experience but is also still exhausted from the trials of pregnancy, child birth and breastfeeding.

Advice? Push through the exhaustion barrier and do everything you can to help your partner to get some rest. That way you will feel less guilty about being less than helpful for night feeds when you are back at work and your partner is still on maternity leave!

 Inappropriate clothing: This one gets the best of us all. Even if your partner has a track record of impecable style and still looks like she is three months pregnant (expect that for the first few weeks post partum) she will suddenly feel like she is a size 8 and will be squeezing into her jeans and skinny tops in no time. Not always flatteringly.

Advice? Keep your mouth shut, grin and bear it! She may not look at her best but she will feel like she does after the past 4 months of dressing in tents and being as big as a whale. This newfound embarassing dress sense will only last a few days before she is brought to her senses and becomes style concious once more. Let her enjoy the happiness of being able to bend in the middle and being able to see her toes when standing up. It has been a long time! 

Wanting to be out and about: Not only wil your partner want to show off her newly found waist and her beautiful baby and try out that new pram but after even one day in bed or in hospital she will start to get cabin fever. It may just be a pop to the supermarket that she is yearning or it may be a meal with a long awaited glass of wine.

Advice? If going out with baby then pack extra everything. The most important things being nappies, baby wipes and cloths to wipe up baby sick. It may seem like an age to prepare to leave the house but get used to it! This is life for the next year. Be prepared that you wil get lots of interested strangers cooing over your newborn and the baby is guaranteed to scream like they are being murdered the second you sit down for a coffee. If you are going out without baby then do not be surprised if the trip or date is shorter than you expected as the first few times away from baby can be particularly heart wrenching for a mother.

Shopping: Thought you had everything you could possibly need? Think again. You run out of nappies/ diapers and baby wipes a lot faster than you would expect and even though you have bought the entire range from your local baby store there will be some essential item that you have missed. your partner will also soon be desperate for new clothes when she no longer wants to wear her maternity wardrobe but comes to the realisation that her pre-pregnancy body has not yet made a reappearance.

Advice: Watch your credit card!

Pain: Your wife will suffer a range of pain post partum. She may have had an episiotomy, a c-section or a natural birth but all three have their own unique after pains to deal with. Added to that the painful contractions as her uterus shrinks back to it’s original size, the pain of the first few weeks of breastfeeding and possible headaches due to a lack of sleep and possible side effects of the pain relief used in labour and your partner may not be a happy bunny.

Advice? Be ready with the paracetamol, tea and sympathy. All of this pain will pass so just play an attentive nursemaid to make her life easier and stack up the brownie points for good behaviour.

Mess: There will be mess. Diapers, sick covered baby grows, poo covered vests, un washed dishes and un made beds. Having a newborn is tough and al of a sudden time slips away lleaving not enough time left for housework.

Advice: Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you can bear it then leave the mess for a week and enjoy your new baby and any small chance you get to rest. If you can’t bear it then treat your partner to a day out or a day in bed and get tidying. she will appreciate it!