Whether you try to get pregnant for three months or three years there comes a point for most women when they begin to obsess. Everyone else in the world seems to be pregnant or post partum. Every shop has maternity clothes and every celebrity is sporting a baby bump. It seems so unfair and upsetting and it can feel like you will never get pregnant. Babies and pregnancy are all that you can think about and it not only drives you crazy and makes you feel blue but can begin to affect your relationship too.

So how can you stop obsessing? Try these tips:

• Have sex. No. Not sex - make love. When you are trying for a baby sex often becomes regimental, timed perfectly followed by 5 minutes with your legs in the air! Make a date with your partner and end it by having sex just for fun and because you love each other. Make it on a non  fertile day to take any baby making element out of it.
• Enjoy not being pregnant. Eat soft cheese, drink wine or cocktails, do a dangerous sport or just enjoy fitting into your jeans!
• Enjoy not having a baby. Stay up late and lie in, go for a full day shopping trip, go to the cinema.
• Relax. Go to a day spa or take a week off work to pamper yourself. Stress can hinder your fertility so relaxing may even help you to conceive
• Make a plan. Some people cope better if they are in control. If you haven’t already then plan the perfect health, diet and exercise regime to maximise your fertility.
• Explore your options. Put your faith in accupuncture, homeopathy or another alternative therapy to increase your chances of conceiving.
• Talk. To your friends, relatives, partner or doctor. If you have been bottling your emotions up or have not explored your options now is the time to do that.
• Don’t talk! If you feel like you have begun to talk non stop about wanting a baby then make an active effort to stop yourself whenever you start the baby talk. If you talk about it less you may find yourself thinking about it less.
• If you have a friend, relative or colleague who announces that they are pregnant or gives birth do not feel like you have to be happy for them. You can be intellectually happy for them whilst still feeling emotionally unhappy and wishing it was you instead. This does not make you a bad person. It makes you human.
• Get a new hobby or start a new project. If you can find something to occupy your mind or something new and productive to obsess over this may make you feel more relaxed and happier
• Trust in God, fate, Mother Nature or whatever deity you believe in. If it is meant to happen then one day it will. If not then your destiny is in your hands. Explore the options available to you from surrogacy to IVF to adoption